What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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