So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
