apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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