anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
