and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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