I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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