I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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