I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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