Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She needs sedatives and a leash
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
