Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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