Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
But theres a keg here and me gusta
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
