see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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