Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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