My nipple is on Facebook.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
