I want to stick my p in your. b.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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