when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
