if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
