you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
