you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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