C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
