There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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