so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
