so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
