Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
