you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
