I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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