Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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