there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
