I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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