im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
