would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
