adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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