Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
