There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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