How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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