Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
