Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
