i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
