I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
