dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
