i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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