I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize