I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
