If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
