Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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