woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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