so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize