u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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