she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize