but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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