O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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