wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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