i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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