Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
