im six kinds of drunk right now
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
