And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
