i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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