hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
