I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My cat gives me a boner
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
