Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Quick, to the slutcave!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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