you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
