when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
