The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
