Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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