There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
