When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
