so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
