dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
