We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
