looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We don't watch enough power rangers
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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