Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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