Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
